Bonjour my Queens and Kings,
No I'm not French but lets face it, who as a child hasn't pretended to be French, or like me, an adult and dreamed of being a part of the french court of King Francis and Queen Mary of Scotland. MMMHMM that was a love story.
Yes you guys though Reign is a historical fiction its such a captivating story and I cried like a baby when King Francis met his horrible fate. I'm dying for it to come back on.
Any whoooo's not to get side tracked. I had another session today with my therapist. We made HUGE breakthrough today....
I found a piece or 2 of who I am. I will be starting a Who Am I? Journal to help further document and keep track of my progress.
First piece I found was my brutal honesty. Which most of you could probably tell or those of my awesome amazing friends who have been supporting me through this blogger journey of mine as I make it into a hit success (don't think I have forgotten you guys), that I am a lot more brutally honest then I used to be. I sweetly say things in my past that were so sugar coated it could put Willy Wonka out of business just so I didn't hurt anyone's feelings and so I could fit in and be friends with everyone.
(buzzfeed.com)It left me, truthfully, to no where but in a big ol heaping mess of cow poop. Why.? You did such good by sparing peoples feelings and not making them feel worse then they already do.
Yea but it lead me to feeling so in the "in-crowd" that I found myself getting carried away and talking shit about my best friends and figuring that just because I say "I love them BUT".
NO STOP IT RIGHT THERE..... No Ma'am, No Sir. That does not give you a get of free jail card or pass go. Don't work like that. Or I found myself saying afterwards "but I only told a little bit not everything"..... yet again HELL NO!
I found that if I really loved my friends then I wouldn't say anything at all, or be honest with them "hey you know I love you but if someone asks me an honest question, I will not lie to them, I will give them the honest answer." then it is up to them. Here is my only thing with this, once they say the words "Don't tell anyone any of this, it's just between you and me" guess what...
My answer to those honest questions are as follows "They told me not to tell I said I wouldn't so I'm sorry I cannot say anything, you should ask them yourself" or "They're my friend/You're my friend you got beef or you want to know something find it somewhere else I told them it was just between me and them and I promised them I was there safe haven, I cannot be a part of the feud"
Honest answer. I have been lied to, lied to those I loved, and had trauma and war starting because of a lie. I also know what hiding things from people can bring so it's best to be honest and opened about most things if it pertains to someone else.
Best example: For those who have watched SOA (yes, I know Jax/Charlie Hunnam has an amazing body but looking passed that Greek God of a body, lets focus!)....
I bet that didn't help ;) but your welcomeRemember when Jax kept it from everyone what was going down with him turning himself in, thought best to leave it until everything went down.? Then Gemma being crazy and people making assumptions left to her killing Tara and lying with the help of Juice the lie the told about the Lin Triad being the ones who killed Tara?
How messy that got and how crazy people got.? When all it took was some honesty to fix it all and lives being saved.?
I learned over time that I was done with lies, having to keep up with lies on top of lies, and how mentally draining it is to keep up with the story of the lies I told to keep the one lie going. So for my sake and mental stability. I started telling the brutal honest truth. No matter how much it hurts. I say things respectively but not sugar coat. You don't have to be rude to be honest.
The 2nd piece: I'm a girly girl with some tom boy country tenancies.... or vice versa, depends on how you look at it.
I love skin care, getting my nails done in the semi long coffin shape with color that seems to be trending. The splash part is... I'll own a chevy truck and take it on the dirt, get on a four-wheeler and take my new clothes to get some character on them. I have no problem hunting, and baiting my own hook.
They are parts of me. I won't be letting go of no matter how many likes or dislikes I get about those qualities. I like them and that is all the matters.
(holidayfeed.com)
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